Is therapy for me ?
Updated: Feb 26, 2021
Therapy is not for everyone -- just as with Going to the gym and becoming physically fit and healthy may not be for everyone. Getting positive results from therapy depends on one's motivation to succeed; whilst having trust and confidence in the therapeutic alliance.
In my many years of experience as a private practitioner and having had the privilege of helping thousands of clients, I have come to accept that you cannot force anyone to seek therapy. There have been many parents, partners, court mandated orders, etc., that have forced unwilling participants into seeking therapy, and, in many of these cases, therapeutic interaction will be at a standstill. Motivation to change is 90% of the battle. As the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.” Ultimately, the ability to succeed lies within each and every one of us; we just need to possess, within, the desire to change.
Here are examples of hurdles that have stool in the way of the motivation to change --
I. Cultural Stigmas surrounding seeking therapy. This is a myth. In this day and age, seeking therapy , and building a productive relationship with a specialist may be detrimental to one's survival , and having the fear of being judged , pushed around ,or bullied only aggravates the problem. If one truly lives in such a hostile environment, then the best thing to do is to pick up the phone to make a call to a therapist in order to find a way out, and start working on finding the path to a better life. In the age of communication, where most things are done online, or over the phone, seeking help has become exceedingly easier than it has ever been.
II. Money -- The common mindset is that seeking therapy costs a lot of money. It is not cheap and to some therapy seems like a luxury. However, this cannot be further from the truth. Prioritizing productive therapy and communicating with a versed therapist can help lift you up financially and help you grow in your profession. Furthermore, oftentimes not seeking therapy is more expensive as some unhealthy coping behaviors and self-medicating / self-diagnosing cost more than a year in therapy. Not only therapy is cheap, it will help with budgeting, saving, making, and investing money.
III. Motivation -- Sometimes we want to go to therapy. We know we need it. We know it is going to help out. However, we just don’t have the energy to seek, to find, and to start the process. Some people want to change but they don’t want it bad enough to attempt to strive. If this sounds familiar, just send one email. For every inch you go, your future therapist will go a mile to start the process because they know you are struggling and thus they should not make it hard for you to seek help out.